Friday, March 7, 2008

I'm a Trainwreck in the Morning

Chloe (shreiking): Mommy! Theres a scary mean spider.

Me (shuffilling through my bag to find my keys): That's not a spider, sweetie, its a piece of string, just pick it up and throw it in the trash.

Chloe: No it's not, it's a yucky spider.

Me: Okay, just don't touch it.

Payton: Chloe, its just a string. See?

(Payton picks up the string and dangles it in Chloes face)

Chloe (shreiking): Ahh! Payton get that out of my face. Mommy Payton put the spider in my face.

Payton: It's not a spider!

Me: You two wait outside while I find my keys.

(I turn over the couch cushions while Payton and Chloe walk to the door)

Chloe: Mommy there is a kitty.

Payton: She looks hungry.

Chloe: Mommy the kitty wants to come inside.

Me: Don't let that cat inside!

Chloe: But she is huuuungry!

Me: Don't let that cat inside!

Chloe: The kitty likes me. Mommy I want to sit on the porch.

Payton: You don't want to sit on the porch, you just want to play with that cat.

Me (searching my coat pockets for my keys): Go on outside. I'll be there in a minute.

Payton: I'm going outside too.

Me: Okay don't let that cat inside.

Payton: Okay....oops Mommy! The cat got inside.

Me (frantic): Get him out, shoo shoo.

Payton: Look Mommy I found your keys in the door.

(5 minutes later dropping the kids off at daycare)

Chloe to daycare provider: Ms. Sheila, we got a new kitty.

Ms. Sheila: You did? What did you name it?

Chloe: Brewster

Payton: We didn't get a cat.

Chloe: Uh-huh, we did so.

Me: Chloe we found the cat on our porch, it isn't our cat. I have to go now, eat all your lunch today.

Chloe: I'm saving the peas for Brewster.

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