Monday, July 21, 2008

Hello, this is Harold

Harold just called. Who is Harold? Harold is the guy I left a message for 3 weeks ago. And apparently he took his sweet ass time calling back.

Harold is a CTE certified personal trainer at Wolfgang's gym. "I just got this message," he says, "I look forward to meeting you and offering any information that can help you with your marathon training."

Harold, I can probably guess the first tip you would give me: "Get up off your butt and run a mile."

Good lord of thunder thighs...Is it fair for a vegetarian to have cellulite? Shouldn't that be reserved for people who scarf fried chicken and T-Bone steaks?

But these chubby cheeks arn't a sign of physical fitness, even though once upon a time I was capable of running a 10k.

I am learning something about myself. I fear letting go. But once I do I realize that I don't miss what I let go if I rearrange my habits to fill that void that is left behind. Take myspace...I thought I would miss myspace like my left arm. But then I started this blog and I found dozens of new friends and worthwhile blogs to read. It was as if by letting go of my dependency I opened up a door to room full of miracles. Now I must remember this, when I make my next drastic cut from the negative parts of my life.

Because shouldn't our focus be making ourselves and our friends happy during this short life?

Shouldn't I swallow the pill that Harold took 3 weeks to call me back, and find hope in his reassuring kind, confident voice?

Shouldn't I stop hating all men? Shouldn't I stop hating my body, and ruing the fact that I don't have my sister's body type?

Ugh but getting off the chair to run a mile, can I really muster up the energy to do that?

Can I let go of my lazy Sunday mornings in exchange for a hard core 10 mile run through a humid downtown street? Can I give up my grilled cheese in exchange for celery and asparagus? Can I really be expected to wake up at 4:30am in order to make this dream of finishing a half marathon a reality for me?

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